The Button
by Bishie Huntress
Summary: Button, button, who's got the button? Ed lost a button in Roy's office, but what's he doing with a button in the first place?


Ed lost a button. A _button_. A very important button, apparently.

As Roy watched him scrabble around frantically on the floor, looking for this button, he wondered a couple things. First off, what was Ed doing with a button? There weren't even any buttons on his clothing. Roy had always assumed this was because zippers were easier to deal with. He had no idea what kind of dexterity Edward's automail afforded, but of all things, buttons were the most awkward clothing fasteners, even for him.

The second was why Ed was so desperate to look for _this _button. Why not just get a replacement?

"As close as you are to the ground, I shouldn't think it would be so difficult for you to find your button," Roy mused aloud.

Ed looked up from where his nose was practically plastered to the decorative rug in Roy's office. "Are you commenting on my height? At a time like this?! This is important!" He glared. "You could help me, you know!"

Roy sat back, steepling his fingers. "This is much more amusing, by far," he said. "I think I'll pass."

Ed grunted and returned to trying to sniff out his button… literally.

Roy sat forward, placing his hands strategically in front of his face so his barely held back laughter would be less noticeable. "What is so important about this button, anyway?" he asked at length.

"It's _important_," Ed said from his place by Roy's feet. He reached out and cautiously lifted first one foot, then the other, making sure his CO wasn't hiding his precious _button_ under them. A _button_.

"Yes, Fullmetal, I gathered. But _why_ is it important?"

Ed ignored him and turned to dig through the cushions of the couch, throwing them aside as he became frustrated with his fruitless search.

To this, Roy protested, vehemently. "Hey! That couch is brand new. Don't drop those cushions on the floor!"

Ed snorted. "If you don't like it, come do something about it." He held up the last cushion with thumb and forefinger tauntingly, then dropped it on the floor with the rest.

Roy resisted the urge to snap his fingers only because he didn't want to risk setting his beloved couch on fire. Well, and the last time he tried to set Fullmetal on fire, the brat had turned his chair into a pile of sludgy goo as revenge. That had been a really comfortable chair, too. Instead, he sighed dramatically and stood.

"Fine," he said, moving toward Ed. "I'll help. What does this button look like?"

"You'll know it when you see it," Ed said. "It's kind of hard to describe."

Roy glanced around at the floor. Really, there were very few places that a button could hide in his rather Spartan office. "How hard can it be? Is it round? Square? What color is it? Can't you just buy a new one and leave my office, already?"

"Hard," Ed said. "Yes, no, umm… No, I can't buy a new one!" He shot a dark look at Roy. "It's limited edition! There were only a few ever made! And this model just came out!"

Roy frowned. "Are you some kind of button collector?" he asked, looking at Ed as if he was the highest level of geek he had ever seen.

"What? No. Button collector?" Ed pulled up the edge of the rug. "What's wrong with you? Who collects buttons?"

"Then did someone special give it to you?" Roy wanted to know. He moved a chair to look underneath.

"No, it was Anny in – Ahah! Found it!" Ed stood from where he'd been digging around under a bookcase, his hair in disarray and dust bunnies adorning his sleeve.

With a sigh of relief, Mustang put the chair back in place. "Alright, then," he said, turning to Ed. "What's so special about this button?"

"Hmm?" Ed was busy fiddling with his shirt and didn't look up as Roy came to stand in front of him. At last, he was finished, and his hands dropped to his sides.

The button was not what Roy expected. It was one of those round things people had taken to pinning on themselves in support of political movements and such. This one, however, had a picture of Roy's face on it, along with the words:

_Caution. Useless when wet._

"I am not useless!"

In the outer office, Roy Mustang's team looked up as one at the shout, followed by rapid footsteps and the door flying open. Ed came barreling through, slamming the door behind him. He looked at everyone looking at him, then grinned his trademark grin.

"Hi!" he said cheerfully. There was the sound of a snap from inside the office, and smoke started pouring around the doorframe. "Gotta go!" And he was off like a shot, leaving the outer office door swinging on its hinges.

Roy pulled the door open, stepping dramatically through the flames that were licking up the edges of the frame. He shot a dark look around the room, saw the open door, and stormed out without a word.

Calmly, Hawkeye reached under her desk, retrieving a fire extinguisher. She walked over and put the fire out as if it was something she did every day.

"What do you suppose that was all about?" Havoc asked.

Fuery shrugged as Falman turned back to his paperwork, but Breda spoke up. "I heard Anny over in Investigations is giving away buttons, again."

As one, the team _Ohh'd_, and proceeded to ignore the resultant explosions that sounded from outside. Havoc, Breda, and Fuery snorted, though, when the sound of falling water reached their ears, and even Hawkeye's lips twitched when this was accompanied by a high-pitched shriek.

* * *

**AN: **This was me, having a bit of fun. Please let me know what you think! There could be cookies involved! (Mmm cookies...) :)


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